Bits of Advise From My Father:
1) "A (insert my last name) never says 'can't'"
2) "You're only as good as your name" which is interposed with "You're only as good as your word."
3) "Always have PMA not PMS." (The acronym PMA stands for Positive Mental Attitude)
4) Blood is thicker than water.
5) Never burn a bridge unless you never want to cross it again.
Things My Mother Taught Me:
1) Never wear eyeliner all the way around your eyes for you will look like a raccoon.
2) Moms can be stylish too.
3) You might think that your mom is the insane, but she only does what she thinks is in your best interest.
4) If you didn't quite hear what someone said to you, repeat back what you thought they said..
Example:
Me: Mom, I can't find the flour.
Me: Mom, I can't find the flour.
Mom: What? You get paid by the hour?
Words of Wisdom From My Grandmother:
1) "You can date multiple men at once. However, you can only be "steady" with one man at a time." Quote from Gma J: "I was going on dates with three different guys when I met your grandpa. When I called one of the other boys by your grandpa's name, I knew it was time to go steady with grandpa."
2) "I must. I must. I must increase my bust. The bigger the better, the tighter the sweater!" (include pumping arm actions)
3) Fudge is always better when made with peanut butter.
Guidance From My Sisters
1) If you find two-year-old Halloween candy stored in a pillowcase in your closet, do not eat it.
2) Cornrows are never a good idea and neither are cargo pants.
3) No one will ever understand your parents as well as your siblings.
Gems of Knowledge From My Friends:
1) "Don't swim in the company pool." IE don't date people you work with.
2) "Sometimes men are just idiots."
3) "Almost anything can be solved with chocolate, whiskey/wine, and Lifetime movies."
What Being in a Sorority Taught Me:
1) You can find family in the most unlikely forms. Even if you have nothing in common with someone, you can love them like crazy anyway.
2) If you can make it through both sides of Recruitment (ie "Potential New Member" or an active sorority sister), you can make it through ANY job interview.
3) When taking a photo, always hide your cup behind your back. And if you are in the front row, go into a position that is a half squat/half bend without too much chest showing. This is a true art form and will become a reflex once it is mastered.
What Elementary School Instilled in Me:
1) The Golden Rule: Always treat others as you'd like to be treated.
2) It's cool to be spontaneous, creative, and love reading. It means you get more Gold Stars.
3) Do not eat the glue, crayons, or the dry macaroni used for crafts. In addition, always wash out Madame Brushay's hair.
Pearls of Wisdom I Discovered On My Own:
1) Have dance parties anytime and everywhere... You will either be construed as crazy or courageous.
2) It's really hard to stay mad at a person when they keep being nice to you. Therefore, kill all your enemies with kindness.
3) Doing things by yourself isn't scary, it's liberating.
4) It's easier to sneak into your parents' house at 3 am when you make a copy of the house key. Also, always keep dog treats stashed in your purse to stop the barking before it starts.
